...the mess i made...

Ever the hopeless romantic and tired of waiting for what will come or not, I succumbed to this:

“What and if, two words as non-threatening 

as words can be. But put 

them together side-by-side and they 

have the power to haunt you for the 

rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."

Either I read too much or I'm just too caught up in the moment that I forget to pause and think things over. My greatest mistake I think is assuming to know the person enough to speak so truthfully about how I felt (which was so blatantly superceded by my actions anyways). It is both sad and painful to even entertain the thought that last year was just a sham so I am not. But these I learned from those who have been through the same journey.

He's just not into you if:

1. You watch a movie together and he's busy with his phone

2. You are on a holiday and he spends the night online, chatting.

3. You leave his side (because you were jealous) and he didn't bother to ask why.

4. You say something truthful and he shies away.

You are so into him (red flag) if:

1. You allow him to do all of the above and still choose to ignore the signs.

2. He figures in all major family occasions (dogs' birthdays, anniversaries, getting a new bike, housewarming etc)

3. You make up excuses to get him over to your house.

etcetera...

Popping the big question (or in my case, stating the obvious) though can lead to a lot of repercussions. If the result is positive, hallelujah! But if not, we'll, you'll read more into (might be) innocent online posts, lose sleep over it, find it difficult to eat, cry silently, rant (and test the patience of the friends you set aside just to be with him), the works.

Sigh! Oh, staring at the mess I made....