I Can Handle This!

It's difficult acting cute when you know (and people close to you) you're too independent to be acting like one. I think I just made the same blunder and got caught red-handed (sheepish grin).

The (not the realization) recognition of that fact came after spending a night sleeping like a baby in sis' room in her new crib with a fluffy stuffed dog for company and the hum of the air-conditioner shutting out all external noise.

What people do in their sleep that may have triggered a neurotic reaction from roommates?

Sis always remarked my being a heavy sleeper. I have slept through minor quakes, heavy rains and howling winds.

I have been observed to move around the bed a lot. It is often evidenced by pillows on the floor and the sheets partially or completely removed from being tucked under the mattress.

When sleeping in my own bed, I usually have at least two pillows. One to rest my head on and the other for hugging.

Pee breaks? They come naturally. Twice on a regular day and as many as four when nearing Christmas.

But whatever I do in my sleep, they are all done subconscioulsy.

(Hala, rationalize gid!!!)

Box House Warming

A crazy weekend followed an equally crazy workweek. Compensated the lack of sleep by waking up only to eat.

Midway through lunch, I remembered that Finishing Course for Call Center Agents NC II will commence same night and I had yet to call Ging about filling the Trainer vacancy. The call didnt last very long and we agreed to meet 8ish in school. That marked another sleepless night for me.

Barely 3 hours of sleep after going home from the night shift, sis enlisted my help about getting stuff from Bacolod into her new crib she named box house.

From Our Home, we had this Queen-sized bed which I get to sample first last night (with still the plastic on the foot in thick mattress neath the flat sheet), then from SM appliances various electrical stuff mostly for food processing (sandwich maker, juicer and the lot).

Lunch was back at Sharyn's Cansi House. This time we finished off the soup (with the additional cup). Just by looking at the sumptuous serving, we both know that this was different than last time when we opted to go on a little adventure and try the less popular joint.

Back home, I cooked spaghetti and had Mary buy chopsuey and char-broiled chicken for dinner which we shared with Auntie Cel, her only grandchild and great granchildren who were cute until Ive had enough of their noise :)

I was so bushed, I had my revisions done in a jiffy and jumped in bed before 10pm.

In a Celebratory Mood

Months of hard work have finally paid off.

Yesterday, after a very long day, I went home bringing with me the Competency Assessment Reports Summary bearing the checkmark inside the "Competent" box. Yey!

The Assessment took all day to finish with each candidate (of 8) given at least 30 minutes to demonstrate facilitating skills and another 30 minutes to answer a 4-page written test.

For preparations, I took a leave the day before to finish some last minute revisions on my portfolio as well as cram with the voluminous reading materials.

To celebrate the glory that was overdue, I went to Starbucks where Glen has already finished his Java Chip venti. I ordered the same before walking to McDonald's to grab some late take out dinner we ate on the bus ride home.

anything goes

The pay for this pay period came out really early so I treated the alpha team out for dinner at solstice. The only guy and erstwhile member of the pioneer group went home while us girls went back to the office for the graveyard shift.

In preparation for my National Assessment tomorrow, I started taking notes on PTS until I got hooked with BBM. I finally got connected with my second contact and the drunken (I had two beers over dinner) exchange lasted until midnight, at which time I already started to get drowsy and slept with only halfway through the first module. It's amazing! I was able not only to send texts but audio and photo files as well. THe only thing Glen has done with his 9220 which I dont think works with an 8520 is chat on FB which I have yet to try.

Time flew by. The cold woke me up. It was almost 5 a.m. already. We all agreed to go home. Some vigil that was.

I passed by the morning fish market and spied some 'baby' prawns. Had it sauteed with garlicky butter for a sumptuous brekkie.

At home, Limbo was already awake and begged to be let out. He peed and asked for breakfast. I got his softened pellets from the fridge and mixed it with Esbilac and warm water. Boy, did he like it!!! He was going around the room with the bowl licking it clean.

It's a fine day. Hope it stays the same until tomorrow :)

Disappointment...

What I lack is somebody to say to my face, "You brought that to yourself! Why whine?"

So, I have begun a new attack to my bouts of contradicting myself. Martin Luther King just happened to have the words that I want to read. Not only did it ring true, it also justified the things I do (and feel).

He said, "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." How timely is that? Of all the time in the world, I have to come across this quote so it must be to encourage me more (hahaha!).

Furthermore, he said, "There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love." And to this, I've no more to say.

He said, She said...

He said, She said...

He said: Sometimes you only love the person because he or she loves you. So when they stop, you also cease to feel.
She said: "fortune and love favor the brave" ~ ovid
He said: So I'm brave? Drool. :D
She said: Brave? On what premise?
He said: I promise I don't know the premise... :D
She said: I don't know any better but that ain't sound brave at all!
He said: Surely it doesn't. Brave barks!
She said: Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation ~ Leo Buscaglia

******

He said: Hope will kill you if you don't use your mind to control it. It is like courage to fight without the strength to attack or the chance to win. It is expectation. It is waiting. For something to happen you know will never be. For someone who left to 'hopefully' come back.
She said: let the hopeful hope. miracles do happen ;)

Nonsense begets nonesense

The fateful day was October 25.

The nonsense "monologue" went this way:

8:57:31 - Funny how I can't stay mad at u...
9:07:14 - I guess its obvious my fixation is...
9:08:03 - Help me...be an ass...promise I won't hold it against u :)
9:27:26 - Be as dumb as they all are...that's the greatest deterrent...
9:48:35 - And when I'm on a whimsical mood, PLEASE refuse vehemently, and with conviction.

I can be as glib and as outspoken but not with you.

Mygreatest fault would be assuming too much that an almost forgotten picture in a pretty new gallery meant something. I thought, I saw something there.

Apparently, I thought wrong.  I assumed too much. And the saddest thing is that I'm still riddled about stoking that glimmer of hope to find what was supposedly "lost", to bring back that person who has "left", into a roaring fire of waiting and expectations.

My, I didn't imagine this to be so sad that it made me cry.

Chasing Pavements No More

That's right!

Phew! I never thought I had it in me.

I expected tears.
Buckets of it.
It didn't come.
The ducts refused to exert even the littlest effort.

Yes! My heart constricted (I think, it still is) but then again, it is only imperative that I would feel anything like it, being human and all.

He can "roll in the deep"!!!


 

Suddenly it's magic...

One year ago, I slept through "Praybeyt Benjamin" at SM Baguio with Annie and Arlen while waiting for our trip back to Manila. To celebrate the time we first traveled as a group, we decided to watch a movie together. And what better movie to watch than "Suddenly it's Magic" which was partially filmed in Ilocos.

We had a grand time taking the photographic trip to the places that we've been and the things that we did: marvel at the Bangui windmills, getting wet at the viaduct, walking through crisologo st, visiting the old churches (Paoay), riding  the calesa, eating empanada.

The cupcake store that was ran by Joey was just beside an eatery where we had the best shomai ever.

So anyway, I was never an Erich fan but Mario? He had me at hello in "Crazy little thing called love", the movie my little bro introduced to me just a year ago. Again, he proved why he's currently the hottest asian actor. His line were actually cheesy but coming from him, he had me convinced that he was really in love with Joey.

He's sad when he's sad, happy when happy, hurt when hurt. Name the emotion and I could feel it emanating from him.

As if the movie wasnt enough, we (annie) waited for his appearance at Gandang Gabi Vice. I had nothing left to say. If not screaming, I was grinning from ear to ear that by the time they said goodbye, I felt so tired about doing something else :)

Civic Duty

After a year-long absence, I was finally able to show up at our HOA (where I am an appointed secretary) meeting. The timing was impeccable. We have visitors from HLURB and my presence meant a lot with all the discussion points that needed to be on record.

 

The activity went all day. Over lunch, HLURB reps answered our queries on rights and obligations of the developer and the HOA alike. Well, it's good that we did that as the orientation of the members started late with us waiting for the number to reach at least a hundred. Well, unfortunately, it did not so we started at 2pm which is not enough time for them to finish all the powerpoint presentations as well as answer queries over and over again.

 

It's grating how some people dont listen at all, and have things repeated. It's such a waste of time. Add to that those who dont really have anything worthy to say but say it anyways.

 

I am so saddened that very few answered to the invitation. HOA is a very important people's organization. "No man is an island". It pays a great deal to know who your neighbors are. Here lies not only l iving in harmony and cooperation but alsoeveryone's safety from good-for nothing-scums-of-the-earth.

Depressed?

Three days ago, somebody remarked about my really short hair and lack of usual vigor. I quipped back, it's the heat.

Then, it had me thinking if I am indeed depressed about the recent turn of events or not.

And how convenient that today, yahoo posted an article on "5 warning signs od depression". Just for kicks, I took sometime and examined each point. Lol

1) Lack of Interest - On the contrary, I've resumed my morning brisk walk today, had coffee with bff this afternoon, will attend to secretarial duties with HOA/HLURB meeting tomorrow and scheduled a movie date with Annie and Arlene on Sunday.

2) Change of Eating Habits - Well, except for today when I completely forgot about lunch (I was so engrossed with sketching this portrait, which unfortunately, did not come out right), I still eat whatever it is that they make in the kitchen.

3) Problems with Sleep - Mine is more like a problem on waking up. With the coming of the pups, my sleeping schedule has changed drastically. But now that they're feeding at an interval of four hours, everything is practically back to normal. I still sleep not later than 12:30 am, which is normal given that I have a very strong internet connection.

4) Physical Pain - I have been complaining about a sore right arm and left behind since the day after that unplanned bowling match which lasted 6 rounds. Apart from that, I'm fine.

5) Self Harming - This is definitely not my thing.

But if there is something really odd about me, it should be my sudden inspiration for writing and sketching, two things that I used to love doing often but relegated to the backseat for a long time. Well, until now.

Point is, I'm not depressed at all, hahaha!

A Broken Record...

...is what I am beginning to sound.

Forgetting is easier said than done, made even impossible listening to dad's 50s, 60s and 70s music (on this lazy day when the neighbors are busy cooking coconut milk based food as opposed to our soupy lunch) like: The Great Pretender, Sad Movie, Have a Good Time, Impossible Dream and a hour and half worth of music with the same theme :(

Facing the music on the other hand is as difficult as avoiding it. It is juvenile but getting an upset tummy fore an impending meeting, it did happen. Pretending not to care at all is as upsetting.

Independence is a beautiful thing. What a foolish thing as to entertain even the thought of giving it up. And look at where it ended? Nothing but memories of good times and a broken heart.

Turning back time, I wonder if there is a way to make it right. If it was something I did or said...

Oh, what to do?

And yes, kung, it's about a boy :(